I have always said that when I do something...I tend to do it all the way. Now I would NOT say I am a perfectionist, but rather, I am usually incapable of half-assing a task, a conversation, a relationship...whatever it may be. If I am passionate about something, it is hard for me not to give 110%. If I am reading a book I like, I can't wait to get home at the end of the day to read it and I usually will try to finish it as quickly as possible. I love planning dinner parties - from planning the menu, to preparing the food, to getting dressed for the party, to welcoming my friends into my home - I love every second of it and find so much joy in each of those steps, which to some may seem far too "Martha Stewart-ish" - but I soo enjoy it! When it comes to meeting new friends, I tend to play 20 questions almost immediately because I want to learn about someone - I want to know what makes them tick & start building a legitimate friendship rather than the all too common "acquaintance". My "question mode" is always in full force on vacations too - so much so, that some of my closest friends joke with me that they'll pay me $20 if I just stop asking questions for a few minutes. If I choose to start dating someone and my gut says "this could be a good fit", I will give all of myself pretty quickly because I figure, well whats the point of dating if you're not going to give your all? Don't you want someone to know the real you and appreciate you just as you are - with no false pretenses to have to weed through further on down the road? Well, the answer is yes - but that is MY answer. And all the previous examples I just cited - those are also just MY examples.
Take a minute and think about what makes you, well you. How would you describe yourself? Are you a talker or pretty quiet unless you really know someone? Are you a procrastinator or do you have a to-do list everyday that you have to complete before you can hit the pillow at night? Are you an introvert or extrovert? Are you a hot head or pretty slow to anger? Are you a musician or just really awesome at downloading mp3s? What are your priorities? What excites you? What makes you mad? Is it hard for you to admit when you are wrong? Are you selfish or maybe the opposite and altruistic to a fault?
I'm going somewhere with this - just stay with me for a bit. I think the narcissist in all of us makes us think our way is the best way, the normal and acceptable way to do something, way to think, teach, learn, drive, love, whatever it may be... and we tend to subconsciously project this onto others creating an unrealistic level of expectations with which we hold our imperfect and very human loved ones to. This is where conflict, fights, divorce, disrespect, mistrust, etc. stem from.
So my point is simple - to assume and/or expect others in your life and in this world to think, behave, react, love, work, worship, prioritize, dress, and give the same effort you give is wrong. That kind of expectation will only set you up for disappointment, frustration, anxiety and probably a few burned and irreparable bridges. No two people are exactly alike - you are the only you in this world just as I am the only me. Yes, we naturally tend to gravitate towards those who are similar to us in many areas, but even in your close groups of friends think of all the differences that lie between each of you. And what a beautiful gift God has given us in that respect - how boring would our world be if we all thought and behaved exactly alike? What lessons would we learn without conflict and resolution? How narrow minded would we remain without being exposed to different ways of behavior and thought? It is only through respect and appreciation of what makes each of us unique and different from each other, that we can let go of the negativity that comes with the "my way or the highway" type of mentality. Leave the judgment part up to the man upstairs.
"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned, forgive, and ye shall be forgiven." Luke 6:37
In Him,
Brooklyn
